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 Vodka Surprise 
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Here's a simple yet refined cocktail that I had the pleasure of experiencing recently:

Vodka Surprise

1. Carefully pour 450ml of high quality Polish vodka (120 proof) into a drinking receptacle.
2. Do not chill or mix with anything (this is important).
3a. Drink the vodka reasonably quickly.
3b. Sit down if not already seated.
4. Listen thoughtfully while your best mate tells you his dad has been charged with possessing and distributing child pornography.
5. Surprise!!

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Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.


06 Aug 2013, 22:49
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bigger softer russier!
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Roark wrote:
5. Surprise!!


ok, but like... surprise him HOW? :?
hasn't this guy already been through enough!?


07 Aug 2013, 10:03
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Surprise him by giving him a big hug in contravention to your nation's social mores about masculinity and mateship. Then pour him a Vodka Surprise without him asking for it.

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Miss Yvonne wrote:
Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.


07 Aug 2013, 19:33
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bigger softer russier!
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Roark wrote:
Then pour him a Vodka Surprise without him asking for it.

:shock:

hey man, like yeah... I uh... I just ate a 3 month old baby straight from the womb.
yeah man! like... totally sucked it right out of there like jelly through a hot water bottle!!


08 Aug 2013, 04:15
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I mainlined a baby once, but it was in crystalline form. I've never had it raw.

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Miss Yvonne wrote:
Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.


08 Aug 2013, 17:43
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cute as a crackbaby
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*puts some Gary Glitter on the hifi*

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08 Aug 2013, 19:58
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y'know....you never really hear of ladies being charged with possession of kiddie porn
what's up with that?

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30 Aug 2013, 20:45
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cute as a crackbaby
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I just want to know a lady that has a regular porn collection.
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02 Sep 2013, 02:16
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ChickenMug wrote:
y'know....you never really hear of ladies being charged with possession of kiddie porn
what's up with that?


We here in Australia recently heard of a lady distributing it...

...to a paedophile dance instructor

...of her own children.

Real nice. :?

Urghh, new topic.

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Miss Yvonne wrote:
Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.


04 Sep 2013, 01:04
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Roark wrote:
Urghh, new topic.



    HARMONIE APHANES PHANERES KREITTON
    harmony is stronger unseen than seen

II. LIGHT


Einstein showed us a way that light, as a phenomenon of our perception, also bears profoundly upon our perception of phenomenon. I can only reflect in this area from my own limITed lay-persons knowledge, since I didn't get far beyond the second year of astrophysics in college. So there won't be excessive technicalITy in what follows regarding light, before we move on to more directly musical matters. But I offer this rumination for the treasures IT contains in relation to our discussion of the alchemical properties of music.

As everyone knows, mass of varying densITy composes our world (the sun, diamonds, air, jellyfish). Light is mass-less and doesn't participate in any kind of composITion. Yet IT somehow discloses the entire material symphony to our sense of sight. Beckoned by the mystery, mankind has endeavored to carefully look at light as ITself (which has come to seem a bIT of a paradox). Aside from the wealth of philosophical material amassed on the subject, which arguably reached IT's zenITh in the middle ages wITh Suhrawardi and his school, in the material sciences IT has recently been observed that light sets the velocITy boundary for our universe. Light never travels faster or slower than the speed of light. IT is totally constant and consistent, and ignores entirely the variable speeds and cadences that matter dances to. Actually, even Aristotle could've told us this, but now the exclusively empirical basis of modernITy is satisfied wITh what IT considers to be the 'fact' of light. Much to our corporeal frustration, nothing that is made of matter can travel at the speed of Light, or even really anywhere near IT. The reason for this is explained by something Einstein called the "relativITy factor". This author will bypass the math 4 if the reader will forgive the inevITable pedantic tone embedded in reviewing the models of physics, how ever basic, by unqualified laymen like myself. Thankfully, to understand "relativITy factor" all we need are some basics. We can begin by noting that compared to Light, things that are flying around in the universe are generally moving very slowly, even if IT seems to us they are going incredibly quickly. For example, wITh earth considered stationary, where you are now sITting wITh this book in your hands, you are at "relativITy factor one". Looking up in the night sky at some satellITe, lets say wITh an orbITal velocITy of 5 miles per second, there is a relativITy factor change of just 1.000000000360219 -- a totally miniscule relativistic movement.

Jumping way ahead to %25 the speed of light (46570.6 miles per second as opposed to a mere five miles per second of our satellITe) we are now at a meager relativITy factor of 1.03, still barely above relativITy factor one. Going half the speed of light (93,141.1985 miles per second) brings us to relativITy factor 1.1547. Still nowhere. At 161,325 miles per second, roughly %86 of the speed of light, finally we have hIT relativITy factor two! But what does relativITy factor two mean?

Einstein's Special Theory of RelativITy famously shows that objects in motion undergo 3 relativistic changes:

1) An increase in mass
2) A contraction in the direction of travel (Lorentz Transformation)
3) A "slowing down" of time. (Time Dilation) 5

These changes would never be noticed at the meager velocITies of our fastest rates --- our satellITe's increase of mass and relative contraction of space and time dilation at 1.000000000360219 is not even worth mentioning. But if you were somehow in a spaceship going insanely fast at %86 the speed of light, your relativITy factor two means:

1) Your mass/size has doubled
2) The contraction in the direction of travel has made space half as big as IT was at relativITy factor one
3) To an outside observer, two years would be passing in one years time for you.

If you were in a spaceship traveling at relativITy factor six:

1) the ship's mass (and you) would increase by a factor of 6
2) 100 miles in front of you would now be 16.6666 miles
3) 1 year to you would seem to be 6 years for someone back on Earth.

Now lets imagine relativITy factor infinITy, the speed of light:

1) the ship's mass (and yours) would be infinITe
2) space in front of you would be infinITely small
3) your time to an outside observer would be infinITe

Consider that under these condITions (relativITy factor infinITy) even one atom would take on infinITe mass, filling up the entire universe wITh ITself. Yet what is nonsensical for matter is completely normal for Light. As said, Light exists at relativITy factor infinITy. Having zero mass, infinITe multiplication means nothing to Light. WITh an infinITe negation of space before IT, in ITself IT traverses no distance. IT's participation in time is only that of infinITe time. At the threshold of the interiorITy of Light, there is nothing we can say other than that IT inhabITs the Time of Origination / Origination of Time.

IT's not my intention to dally on these famously esoteric warpings, and being neITher intelligent enough to be surprised by them, nor good-natured enough to be particularly excITed by their 'wacky-ness', I am not the person to do their further exposITion any justice. But I bring all this up in order to illustrate something extraordinary about a very ordinary thing. Human beings have consciousness of time passing. We take IT for granted. We know time as a constant flow, we feel IT going by, we mark IT wITh observations about the sun, stars, everything. But if you stop to think about IT, how is the awareness of this passage of time even possible? Were chronological time all there was to our world, what would we be sITting next to chronology ITself in order to compare IT to an "other", and be able to say one is "passing" by the other? IT's true that we mark things by their relation to each other, and this suffices the basic awareness of time. Certainly other creatures live in the same world wITh us, wITh the same sun and same days and nights, the same time markers. But who can say that animals regard the passage of time as we do? How do we know IT so intimately to notice IT, know about IT, name IT, feel IT as "something"? I believe the answer is startlingly simple, yet also very illuminating.


05 Sep 2013, 12:57
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You're a doll. Thanks man.

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Miss Yvonne wrote:
Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.


10 Sep 2013, 22:42
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Christ, I be late to the party on this recipe.

Gotta say, I prefer a nice stirfry over cheese pizza.

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09 Nov 2013, 12:51
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